Paradise in Hell: If She Were My True Love

I have had time to really think about you and I, and I have come to the conclusion that I truly and deeply love you, and I need you in my life with all my heart and soul. But when I view the circumstances surrounding us, I sadly and painfully realize that you hardly love me at all. Your true heart’s desires seems to me to lie elsewhere, in another place, in different sets of circumstances far removed from what I represent, what I am to you and what I might mean to you if only you’d give me the chance. My true hearts affection is to you; and there is no other one I adore as much, but it seems I only exist on the periphery of your tender feelings and caring. I am just one other person amongst others who might occasionally and temporarily ignite tepid warmth in your heart - just an anonymous presence in a vast field of tenderness in which your heart may sometimes find humor and succor: but only when you need a quick dose of an emotional high. It breaks my heart when I realize there is absolutely nothing I can do to pretend that my feelings for you are not real, and my despair is made worse by the knowledge that I cannot change this tortuous state of heart’s affairs because true affection can never be bought by silver and gold. I thought in you I’d find everlasting love, but all I have reaped from you is searing heartache.